1.08.2013

Play-by-Post Match 17 | Round 01

THE CALL TO BATTLE HAS BEEN SOUNDED AS THESE FORMIDABLE TEAMS PREPARE FOR WAR. THE FIRST VOLLEYS OF COMBAT ARE LOOSED AND EACH MAN WARILY STUDIES HIS FOE.


Oscar the Grouch: (4)+0 = 4

Pimp Ernell: (7)+1+2 = 10 (secondary roll 2)

Red Baron: (5)+3+2 = 10 (secondary roll 10)
Ernie: (15)+0 = 15
Cookie Monster: (14)+2 = 16
Crimson Dynamo: (18)+0+2 = 20
Red Skull: (19)+0+2 = 21
Elmo: (20)+5 = 25

Recommended Listening:
Laibach - Sympathy for the Devil

58 comments:

  1. OSCAR THE GROUCH BANGS THE CRUMPLED STEEL OF HIS HOME TO THE DEATH MARCH OF LAIBACH, WELCOMING ALL TO THIS ARENA OF DEATH.

    RESPAWN (4).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are we using the Plunder Deck from the map description?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOC: Yes. For those wishing to roll on their own via Roll20;
      * declare your action in the Chat Log
      * roll a 1dx, where x equals the number of remaining cards. At the start of the match, there are 5 cards.
      * gain an item. Items are numbered sequentially, with the top item (Boon of the Hellstrider) being #1.

      Delete
  3. Gloomy day
    Sweeping the light away
    On my way to where the killing’s sweet
    Can you tell me how to get
    How to get to Deathmatch Street

    Come and play
    Everything’s a-okay
    Enemies in a bloody mess
    Lie at our feet
    Can you tell me how to get
    How to get to Deathmatch Street.

    “Hey, everyone scram! Wow, that never works… I’m alone. Ha, ha, ha. Let’s see what trash is here. Oh look the ship’s trash can.” Oscar picks up his can, goes and plunders the chest. He then sinks down in to his trash can singing “Because I love trash!”

    Tech:
    Move: To directly in front of the chest (can we get some coordinates on the map?)
    Minor: Grab some trash from the chest.
    Standard: Full defense.

    OOC: I don’t have the time or brain power this morning to look up the Roll20 right now. Next turn I’ll work on it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. THE PLUNDER OF 1,000 SEAS NOW ADORNS THE BATTERED TRASH CAN OF OSCAR THE GROUCH. HE RECIEVES ITEM (3), MUTINEER'S CURSE.

    RED PIMP ERNELL RESPAWNS TO APPEAR AT LOCATION (4).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Hey this shiny dagger isn't trash, what good is it!" Oscar throws the dagger behind him just as the pimp spawns. The pimps belt is cut and his pants have trapped his feet. "Hey maybe the dagger has it's uses. Ha, ha, ha!"

      Tech: the Red Pimp-ernell is now restrained due to the Mutineer's Curse. Ha, ha, ha.

      Delete
  5. "Did he just touch Pimp Ernell's booty? Tell me he didn't just touch Pimp Ernell's booty! Noone touches Pimp Ernell's booty (without adequate monetary compensation)!"
    Minor: Pimp Ernell starts to swagger (Form of the Fearsome Ram)
    Standard: Pimp Ernell covers his nose at the stench emanating from the cabin (restrained, total defense).

    ReplyDelete
  6. ACHTUNG! DER HERR MANFRED VON RICHTHOFEN HAB JETZT ZUKOMMEN, NUMMER ZWEI.

    Respawn (2)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOC: Pierce, my grammar is a little rusty. This may prove to be an educational match for me.

      Delete
    2. the Red Baron is actually Geoff, however the Red Skull (Pierce) does speak German as well.

      Delete
    3. Ja wohl, Herr Dungeon Meister, ich kann dich mit deinem Deutsch helfen!

      Delete
    4. Quoi? Qu'est-ce que vous disez?

      Delete
    5. Johannes Grün, du bist ein Schweinhund! Der Rote Alarmruf ist ausgezeichnet! Rote Alarmruf über alles! (Für kürze Schrift, Rote Alarm ist auch okay.)

      Delete
  7. OOC, the only walls that exist are the ones that separate the center of the ship from the booty locker? Can you be thrown overboard from the booty locker?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOC: Hmm, this could have been spelled out clearer (obvious answers in regular D&D sometimes become huge debates in FTDM), but I would rule that you are correct on all accounts.

      Delete
    2. OOC: I left several questions over on the map post this morning...

      Delete
    3. And I chimed in too, if it matters. As always, final call is up to the DM.

      Delete
  8. Hey Baron, quit chasing that damn beagle! You're wasting valuable killing time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gott im Himmel, ist mein Freund auf das Deck geklebt! Time to grouchy grünen Papierkorb fiend sterben!

    Tech - Move to the space directly south of Oscar, avoiding opportunity attack.
    Standard - Beguiling Strands, +6 vs Will, push Oscar into the drink!
    Minor - GIMME SOME LOOTS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FATE HATH ABANDONED YOU AND A CAPE OF FLAMES COVERS THY FALLEN FORM.

      BUBBLE BATHS ERUPT IN SIN. ERNIE APPEARS AT LOCATION (3).

      [TECH]
      (1) HUMILIATION!!! The Red Baron is knocked prone. pr0n!
      Loot (4): CAPE OF IMMOLATION

      Delete
  10. OOC: Relatively quickly (and alas, w/o much RP) because Little Dude has to get to bed. Also a little boring, since we're hoping not to have to waste resources on the telefrag-friendly Baron, and not interfere with Oscar.

    "Go, Rubber Ducky! That looks like a perfect nest for you!"

    [Tech]
    Start of match: Defender aura starts active
    Minor: summon the duck/bear.
    Double Move: Ernie walks to the forecastle. Ducky climbs the mast.

    Rules kvetching: Now, depending on interpretation (the rulebooks don't make it explicit), the duck/bear can have anywhere between a +3 and a +10 to Athletics. In Roll20, I actually rolled a (1)+3 = 4 on that first climb check. So if the Ducky is encumbered by Ernie's armor and strength score, he makes it to just under the Crow's Nest. If not, he's in the Nest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOC: Consensus on the internet is A). WotC shit the bed on the Sentinal companion skill rules B). They should use the controlling character's skill values, but WITHOUT any armor penalties. Thus, the Bear can auto-succeed on climb checks to climb up the mast. Ducky is in the Crow's Nest, but otherwise out of actions. Wheeeew!

      COOKIE MONSTER REPSAWNS AT (1).

      Delete
  11. AS KINDLY REQUESTED, MAP REVISED TO INCLUDE COORDINATE AXES.

    ReplyDelete
  12. OOC: No time for fluff here either as this is the only time available for me to post

    Tech
    Move to K13 (the spawn points don't have a teleport effect listed, so I'm assuming I can walk over it with no problems)

    Standard: Activate Lesser Aspect of Wrath on the Pimp
    +6 vs Will
    2d6 brutal 1 + 6 radiant damage
    Effect: Gain 10 temp hit points, +1 to attack rolls, and enemies that end their turn next to me take 3 cold damage

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. THE DIN OF BATTLE BEGINS. THE DUNGEON MASTER IS PLEASED.

      [TECH]
      Aspect of Wrath: (13)+6 vs. Will 12 ; hit!
      for (4)+(6)+6 = 16 radiant damage, Pimp Ernell is bloodied at 12 HP!


      THE CRIMSON DYNAMO APPEARS AT LOCATION (3), ONLY TO WITNESS SUCH CRUEL BRUTALITY PERPETRATED BY THE PUBLIC BROADCASTING SERVICES. "MY TAXES WENT TO PAY FOR THIS?!?!"

      Delete
  13. "The Crimson Dynamo does not pay capitalist taxes to corrupt system! Brutal Muppets? In Mother Russia, we stand in line for muppet soup! Let me show you how to make it!"
    TECH
    Elemental Bolt (Escalated for 1d12+1d10+1d6+11 damage) at Ernie (10)+6 vs Reflex = 16; hit!
    at Oscar(11)+6(-2 cover) = 15; hit!
    (10)+(1)+(1)+11 = 23 fire damage.
    Effect - shift to K5.
    Action Point Elemental Bolt (1d12+1d6+11) on Ernie (16)+6 vs Reflect = 22; hit!
    (10)+(6)+11 = 27 fire damage
    Move to F3.
    Minor ENJOY DELICIOUS FLAMBEED MUPPET.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Hey, in Capitalist America, we flambe all commie bastards. Eat flaming trash." Oscar throws flaming garbage at the Dynamo.

      Tech:
      Oscar has 5 fire resistance so only take 22 damage.
      Infernal Wrath does 1d6+5 fire damage to you.

      Delete
    2. 5 Fire resist means you would take 18.
      Stupid roller, I took 11 fire. :(

      Delete
    3. Query, if we know that the next person who acts needs to respawn (ally or gibbed opponent), can we roll it or does it need to be the DM?

      Delete
    4. Any roll done in Roll20 is recorded, so a record is kept and it seems pretty fair.

      Delete
    5. OOC: Anyone on the same team can roll the Respawn, so long as its clearly and publicly stated in the Roll20 chat. Or, of course, just wait for me to get back from lunch/sleep/etc. and help you out.

      Also, if you use Roll20 to heal, deal damage, forced movement, or bestow a condition; please do so both in the app AND MOST IMPORTANTLY declare on your post what the resultant hit point totals of everyone involved are.

      Getting to the Respawn now ...

      Delete
  14. From Ross:

    AFK now, but anyone can roll it so long as its public and verifiable, ie Roll20

    So if some one's on Roll20 (I'm not currently signed up), you can roll for the Skull's location.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Red Skull reappears in a puff of red mist. You know, the mist that used to be his restrained ally, Pimp Ernell.

    Respawn at (4).

    ReplyDelete
  16. As a note: Oscar's bloody @13 hp, Ernie's bloody @ 1 hp and should get an OA on the Crimson Dynamo.

    What's Crimson Dynamo at after the 11 damage.

    And fuck yeah! Telefrag!

    ReplyDelete
  17. After the fiery attack, Ernie is down to 5 HP and very bloodied!
    Also, Oscar takes (23-5) + (27-5) = 40 fire damage to be seared to -9 HP. You are seared!

    Crimson Cyclone is burned down to 15 HP by Infernal Wrath (6)+5 fire damage and then 5 HP and bloodied by Stormhawk's Vengeance.

    Lastly, Crimson Cyclone's movement provokes an opportunity attack: (10)+3 vs. AC 12; hit!
    for (2)+0 damage. Red Cyclone gone from full HP to 2 HP during his own turn.

    *slow clap*

    The Red Skull Respawns at Location (4) ...

    !!! TELEFRAG !!!

    for the first death of the game!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please reread my turn. I killed Ernie before I moved near him. I didn't target Oscar twice. Ernie and the ducky should be in bed.

      Delete
    2. I wondered about that, but I was gonna be the last one to mention anything... *Ernie snicker*

      So hey DM, is the duck persistent, or do I have to bring him back after respawn?

      Delete
    3. Yes right! I threw too much damage on Oscar and not enough on Ernie. Ernie is !!! GIBBED !!! , Crimson Cyclone is refunded his 2 hp (top be at 5 HP total) and Oscar is bloody and conscious at 13 HP.

      Correct?

      Delete
    4. The animal companion is alive well and does not get "unsummoned". If killed, it can be resummoned at bloodied HP (7 HP) as a Minor Action by Ernie.

      Delete
    5. refund the Dynamo 10 more hp as stormhawk didn't pop.

      Delete
    6. FUCK. And Crimson Cyclone is refunded the 10 HP from Stormhawk's Vengeance ....

      Delete
  18. This just in from "reading the books", Druid-Sentinal animal companion disappears "into the primal mist" when its master is killed. Man, I am all about playing some gamist D&D, but that is laughably bad.

    Still, Rules As Written stand! Rubber Ducky is flushed away with the bath water (returnable via Minor Action, of course).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If for some reason I'm ever allowed to write d&d rules, when a druid dies his/her animal companion regresses to full blown beast-mode and tries to kill the entire party.

      Delete
    2. Jon Green needs to write the Druid rules for D&D Next.

      Delete
    3. Everyone petition Mike Mearls. MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

      Delete
  19. Red mists swirl and from them steps a fearsome visage, that of the RED SKULL! Taking in his surroundings and seeing a strange, blue bear standing next to him, he grins a strangely skeletal grin and begins spouting off in a language that few aboard the Hellstrider probably know. Swinging his sword at the foul beast, the Skull disappears, probably the work of the occult artifacts he has been known to be hunting down.

    "Du bist ein grosse Kerl, Kuche Monster! Dein Kapitän Amerika kann nicht jetzt dich retten! Ich werde dich tot machen!"

    *Translations Provided by Herr Doktor Arnim Zola: "You are a villain, Cookie Monster. Your Captain America cannot save you now. I will kill you."

    [TECH!]
    *STANDARD! Skull will use Vanishing Blade upon the Cookie Monstrosity. (+7 vs AC, 2d8+4 damage and target is Marked until the end of Skull's next turn) Miss: Half damage, Effect: Skull teleports 5 squares and becomes Invisible, until the end of the Encounter whenever Skull hits an enemy with a melee attack he can teleport 3 squares as a free action.

    *SPECIAL: Vanishing Blade teleport to J17

    *MOVE: Trade for Minor, Mark Oscar the Grouch with my Aegis of Assault

    *MINOR: Get some booty from the chest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [OOC]
      I was having some issues with Roll20 today, I'll try to utilize it more starting next round.

      Delete
    2. OOC: No problems there, man. We're using Roll20 as an explicitly OPTIONAL supplement to the normal play-by-post proceedings.

      A BLADE OF RED STEEL CARVES THROUGH THE VOID BETWEEN WORLDS.

      [TECH]
      Vanishing Blade: (7)+7 vs. AC 19; miss!
      for 1/2x (3)+(5)+4 = 6 damage [Cookie Monster is down to 4 temp HP]

      Red Skull gains the (1) BOON OF THE HELLSTRIDER

      Elmo Respawns at Location (2)

      Delete
  20. "Elmo has a question fo-o-o-o-or you! How do YOU spell 'ass kicking'?"

    Move: To K16
    Standard: Open Gates of battle on Skull: +6 vs Reflex, 2d10 + 5 + 1d10 (Skull is at full HP) + 1d8 (furious assault)
    Free: If it hits Skull, Flurry vs Baron: 8 damage
    Minor: Elmo loves his goldfish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Also, I was fighting with a toddler, so I did not get to Roll20. I'll try for next time.

      Delete
  21. THE FURY OF ELMO KNOWS NO LIMIT. FELT AND GLUE FLEX TO DELIVER CRIPPLING BLOWS.

    [TECH]
    OtGB: (8)+6 vs. Reflex 14; hit!
    for (10)+(1)+5+(4)+(1) = 21 damage! The Red Skull is bloodied at a mere 6 HP!
    The Red BAron takes 8 damage to be at 16 HP

    ReplyDelete
  22. !!! THUS ENDS ANOTHER EXCITING ROUND OF FOURTHCORE TEAM DEATHMATCH !!!

    The violence continues in Round 02: http://www.fourthcoreteamdeathmatch.com/2013/01/play-by-post-match-17-round-02.html

    ReplyDelete