1.18.2013

Play-By-Post Match 17 | Round 07

Recommended Listening:
Alignak - Down Down to Goblin Town


22 comments:

  1. “Okay, I’m tired of all of you. Every one off my ship!” Oscar grabs the Scorpion Bracers and then charges the Red Skull. But even with a hit, the head of hydra stays on.

    Tech:
    Minor: grab Scorpion Bracers
    Standard: Charge Red Skull using “Virtuous” Strike (13)+10 vs AC hit. Damage (1)+5=6 damage leaving Red Skull at 4 hp. Oscar has +2 to saving throws until the start of his next turn.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Both items were in the treasure chest, so it will be a die roll. On an even number, scorpion bracers ... (1)! CAPE OF IMMOLATION!

    Scarlett Pimp Ernell, your time has come, dawg.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "I thought I told you punks about touching Pimp Ernell's booty! That pimp ass cape would have matched my shiny shoes!"
    The pimp swaggers up to Oscar and gives him a mighty backhand.
    "Rat a tat tat tat a tat like that, and I never hesitate to put a Muppet on it's back!"
    [Tech]
    Standard: Charge Oscar to J10 (11)+11 vs AC=Pimp Slap for 3d6+6=14 Damage
    Oscar's limp form is pushed to L4 with -12 HP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Finally I can say this. In my best Chris Tucker impression,"You got knocked the FFFF out!"

      Delete
    2. As the trashcan falls over, Slimy the worm slithers out. He says something in a high pitch unintelligible language. The pulls out his rocket launcher and fires at the pimp.

      Tech: Pimp takes 10 damage from Stormhawk's Vengeance.

      Delete
    3. Nothing happens to the Red Baron while he waits patiently on the enemies runway, so he takes flight.

      Once more attempting to move the Blue Cookie demon. No success.

      Lets fly a barrage, attacking Diablo Azule and the Trash Fiend. Effectively doing nothing, the Red Baron lands next to some artillery and contimplates a career change.

      Tech:

      Minor: Arcane Whirlwind Cookie Monster who made his save.
      Standard: Beguiling Strands against Cookie and Oscar.
      Miss Cookie. Use Elven Accuracy, hit Cookie.
      Miss Oscar.
      Attempt to Slide Cookie, Cookie makes save, takes 5 dmg.

      Move: L8 to E3

      Delete
  4. "P is for push! P is for prone! P is for paladin and my healing zone!"

    Ernie sing-songs yet again, causing crazy headaches in Pimp 'n' Skull (TM), and adds to the vaguely Benny Hill feeling this massively prone match has had.

    [Tech]
    Never happened: the MBA Ernie could have taken against Baron. Crazy teleporting Skull, ya know.
    Move: walk to K-7
    Minor: spend Second Wind with Spirit of Sacrifice on Oscar
       Effect: Oscar spends a surge and is conscious and prone at 7 HP
    Standard: Echoing Dirge, targeting Pimp, then Skull
       Attack vs Pimp: (15)+4 = 19 vs Will 12 - HIT!
       Attack vs Skull: (14)+4 = 18 vs Will 14 - HIT!
       Hit: (4)+4 = 8 psychic damage, push Pimp to H-12 and Skull to J-12
       Pimp's Save: (20) - prone in I-11

    Pimp is prone and bloodied at 10 HP, and Skull is dying at -4 HP.

    ReplyDelete
  5. COOKIE MONSTER AWAKENS FROM DIABETIC SLUMBER, SWAYING HIGH ABOVE ON THE CROW'S NEST OF HELL.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cookie Monster climbs back to his feet yet again. Seeing so many enemies closing in on his cookie stashes, he reaches out to the lava, threatening yet another parody video if it doesn't wash away the false devourer. He then throws himself at the shiny red figure that is trying yet again to steal his sweets.

    Tech
    Move to stand up

    Standard: Lava Burst on Baron
    With bonuses, 15 vs Reflex 15, hit!
    26 fire damage to drop him to -7 hp, and ongoing 10 fire

    Minor: Oath of Enmity on Dynamo

    AP: Angelic Alacrity
    Shift 1 to B9
    With bonuses and Oath reroll, 22 vs AC 12 hits!
    With brutal 1 rerolls, 18 damage is dealt, dropping Crimson Dynamo to -1 hp!

    KILLING SPR....awww. Cookies still taste sweet when the sugar is mixed with the blood of your enemies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reroll this, brutal that... You'd think you designed your PC around Kurt's dice!

      Delete
  7. The Crimson Dynamo laments that the lot of all Soviets is to spend time in line, constantly waiting for spawn, constantly humiliated.

    Tech:
    Spawn at portal 1.
    Move - shift to I7.
    Standard - Elemental Escalated Bolt on Cookie Monster and Ernie, rolling a 3 and a 1. Humiliated for the third time in 7 rounds. Shifting as a free action to K4.
    Minor - REALLY? REALLY? 3 times? Fuck Roll20.

    Red Skull reappears with a maniacal laugh in portal 3.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you just shift inside Ernie's zone of influence!? Felt everywhere!

      [Tech]
      Opportunity Action: Righteous Radiance
         Trigger: enemy in my aura shifts or blah blah blah...
         Effect: Dynamo takes 7 radiant damage, is at 19 HP
      Rules Lawyer Kvetching: you can crawl, but cannot *shift* while prone. But! The shift from Escalation is a free action and can be activated before the Humiliation. But again! The stairs are difficult terrain, stopping in... K-5, Mason?
         Effect: Dynamo end his shift in K-5 ... ?

      Delete
    2. Agreed. Tired eyes think of slide and shift as same effect.

      Delete
  8. DOWN DOWN DOWN THEE GOES!!! MWHAHAHA, THE DICE GODS LAUGH AS CRIMSON DYNAMO FLOUNDERS ABOUT AND FALLS TO HIS KNEES.

    RED SKULL EXPIRES, RESPAWNING AT LOCATION (3).

    ReplyDelete
  9. [IC]
    "Kannst du nicht mich hören? Ich hab' zu dich gesagt, dass ich unsterblich bin! Ich bin ein Gott! Der Tod kann nicht mich anhalten. Ich werde für alles kömmen. Nichts sind sicher!"

    *Translations provided by the imprisoned Herr Doktor Arnim Zola: "Can you not hear me? I have said to you that I am immortal! I am a god! Death cannot stop me. I will come for everyone. No one is safe."

    The Nordic rune that everyone knows and loves flashes to sight on the ship allowing the vicious Skull to teleport adjacent to the downed trash monster. The Alfheimisch blade finds the rotten garbage man's throat with ease, and seeing the creature bleed out, the Skull teleports aside the flamboyant Ernie. "Aufwiedersehen," the Red Skull mutters as he brings his now burning blade down upon the soon-to-be-flaming creature only to find no purchase against the closeted monster's armor.

    [TECH]
    *Move: Fey Step to K11, Free MBA vs Proned Oscar, +9 vs AC, HIT 26 vs AC 20 for 1d8+3 damage (9 Damage) Oscar is now at -2 HP

    *Free Teleport on successful melee attack from Vanishing Blade to K8

    *Standard: Blazing Pursuit vs Ernie, +7 vs AC, MISS 15 vs AC 22

    *Minor: Aegis on Ernie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh look, you dropped Oscar below 0 HP again. Slimey's got something to say about that, I'm sure! (Kurt can play this up however he wants, but I already applied it in roll20)

      [Tech]
      Oscar drops below 0 HP: Stormhawk's Vengeance
         Effect: Skull takes 10 thunder damage - is at 17 HP

      Delete
  10. Yay! Elmo is not dazed from too many marker fumes!

    Minor: Sustain cyclone
    Move: to J11
    Standard: Crane's Wing vs Pimp: +6 vs reflex (+2 for Pimp being prone? I forget). 1d10 + 5 + 6 (flurry) damage and push INTO THE LAVA.

    I take 2 damage from the fire zone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's no fire zone, it's Arcane Whirlwind, not Ignition, so no fire damage

      Unless the DM is about to do so, I'll run his actions through Roll20 and post the results in a few minutes

      Delete
    2. Crane's Wings is a melee attack so it does get +2 attack for Pimp being prone, but since Roll20 only gave a 4, that's simply 12 vs Fort 16, so nobody takes any damage and no pushing *sigh*

      Delete
  11. !!! THUS ENDS ANOTHER EXCITING ROUND OF FOURTHCORE TEAM DEATHMATCH !!!

    KEEP PACE WITH THE INEXORABLE HELLMARCH TOWARD ULTIMATE DESTINY IN ROUND 08: http://www.fourthcoreteamdeathmatch.com/2013/01/play-by-post-match-17-round-08.html

    ReplyDelete