1.12.2013

Play-By-Post Match 17 | Round 04

Recommended Viewing:
Skyrim - Nordic Chant

29 comments:

  1. OSCAR BEGINS THIS ROUND DAZED, MARKED, AND IN AN INCENDIARY ZONE OF FIERY PAIN.

    ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE GROUCH.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oscar in a haze mumbles, “Must kill red people. Elmo’s red. Must kill Elmo. No, Elmo’s on my side and fun to yell at. Must kill red people. Hey look I found an old Snoopy snow cone machine; I wonder who I should beat with it? Elmo’s red. No poetic justice, beat the Red Baron.”

    Tech:
    Standard: Attack Red Baron with Virtuous Strike. (9)+7=16 hit. Damage (3)+5=8 points of damage so Baron’s at -7 and Oscar gets a +2 to saving throws until the start of his next turn.
    Red Skull, do your worst.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh and w/ fire resistance 5, Oscar ignores the 2 fire damage (and should be refunded 3 hp, ha, ha, ha).

      Delete
    2. Also, at the end of my turn, I get a slide 2 due to the cyclone, but I'm waiting for Red Skull to respond.

      Delete
  3. As the pimp once again stumbles out of a cloud of funny smelling smoke.
    "These gangstas been takin' advantage of Pimp Ernell's sugar! That blue hustler needs to learn his place! All your cookies are belong to the streets!"
    Tech:
    [Move: Shift away from Ernie, because he's kind of a b****]
    [Minor; Sipping on Gin and Juice]
    [Standard: Charge the Cookie dealer. (12)+11 = Hit. 24 damage puts Cookie at 6. Cookie's dwarvenness avoids a fiery demise]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OOC: I went to a sesame street themed second birthday party for a friend's child this evening. It was somewhat surreal to have murderous intentions towards the various inflatable balloons.

      Delete
    2. You should try watching in on a near daily basis... "Guess what Elmo's thinking about. Elmo's thinking about WHOOPASS."

      Delete
  4. Like all good legends, The Red Baron appears out of nowhere from the clouds. With a fleeting glance he dispatches the "Kind, das mit Enten spielt" (Kid that plays with ducks.) over the side.

    Auf Wiedersehen!

    Deftly moving across the deck with the speed of a Fokker Dr. I, sending a barrage of pressure towards Crackie Monster (Chocolate chips don't do that to people.) But alas all those cookies have actually helped anchor his blue "Gesäß" to the deck, so he only falls flat, looking like not much is left of him but crumbs.

    Tech: Respawn at 4 (L12)

    Minor: Sustain Arcane Whirlwind and slid Ernie to H13. Ernie fails his save with a roll of 4 on a 1d20. (mmm Peking Duck)

    Move: L12 to K5

    Cast Beguiling Strands. Hit! Push Cookie Monster to E2. Cookie crits his save! Falls Prone.

    Mission Accomplished.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beguiling Strands also does 5 dmg to Cookie.

    ReplyDelete
  6. THE TIDES OF BATTLE SHIFT BACK AND FORTH AND THE BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY RAGES ON.

    ERNIE RESPAWNS AT (1).


    [TECH]
    For bookkeeping, Beguiling Strand attack roll was a brutal (17)+5 vs. Will, followed up by a critical (20) saving throw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does mark clear at respawn? Divine challenge ends when it's used again or the person with the challenge is not engaged (paladin does not attack on his turn or ends turn adjacent).

      Also Red Skull still has his mark effect to resolve on Oscar and Oscar gets his slide 2 from the cyclone.

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. CORRECTION:

    TWELVE HOURS SINCE PROMPTING FOR AEGIS TRIGGERED MELEE BASIC ATTACK HAS EXPIRED. RED SKULL TELEPORTS TO K17 AND STRIKES NAUGHT BUT TRASHCAN.

    EVERYTHING THAT WAS WAITING FOR THE RESULT OF THAT ATTACK CAN NOW DO ITS THING.

    [TECH]
    MBA: (7)+6 vs. AC 20; miss!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oscar will use the slide from ending his turn in the cyclone to J17, which should put me adjacent to Red Skull and Crimson Dynamo.

      Delete
  9. HUZZAH! Apologies for the miscommunications and mistakes.

    Please, those of you using Roll20 to speed up your turns, take the time to explain where everything is coming from and what it's full name is. Explain it to me like I'm an 8-year-old.

    I can see James rolling out his turn, so I will wait for his posting before updating the map.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ernie reappears. Again. "Ya know, I'm a very easy-going muppet. But my buddy ole pal Bert? He's getting real tired of re-stuffing me every round. Over. And over. And over." Ernie gets an oddly far-away look in his eyes as he trails off...

    "Oh, wait, what? That's right. No place on Sesame Street for a Pimp and a Baron. (well, maybe a Count, but not a Baron) Let's do this."

    [Tech]
    Standard: Echoing Dirge, targeting Pimp and Baron
       Attack: (15)+4 = 19 vs Pimp's Will 12 - HIT!
       Attack: (6)+4 = 10 + 4 (Heroic Effort) = 14 vs Baron's Will 12 - HIT!
       Hit: (7)+4 psychic damage, push 2
         Pimp pushed to G-2, (18) saves, is prone in F-3, at 14 HP
         Baron pushed to M-3, (2) does not save!
    Move: walk to L-13
    Minor: Healing Word on Oscar
       Effect: Oscar heals 7+(2) to 18 HP

    Take it away, Cookie!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cookie Monster pulls out a Sensu Cookie and nibbles on it as he climbs back to his feet. Wanting the cookie stash by the ballista all to himself, he grabs the injured Pimp and tries to throw him overboard, but simply slams him headfirst into the railing, knocking him out cold.

    Tech
    OOC: Dunno if it's been mentioned before, but Pimp took 3 radiant damage for ending his turn adjacent to Cookie Monster

    Move: Stand up

    Minor: Dwarven Resilience: gain 7 HP to be at 8 and +2 defenses until start of next turn

    Standard: Overwhelming Strike
    +9 vs AC - 14+9 = 23, hit!
    2d6 (brutal 1) +6 = 4+4+6 = 14, so pimp is dropped to 0!
    Cookie Monster shifts to E3 and slides pimp to E2

    ReplyDelete
  12. CRIMSON DYNAMO DIES AND RESPAWNS AT LOCATION.

    !!! RED ALERT HAS LOST THE LEAD !!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. This American football, it is a capitalist ploy to keep the bourgeoisie masses ignorant to the excesses of your government? It appears to be working!

    Tech:
    Free - lament that the Texans lost
    Standard - Elemental Bolt on Ernie and Cookie Monster
    damage - (2)+(2)+(1)+11 = 16
    Ernie - (1)+6 = 7, that's unfortunate. Humiliation.
    Cookie Monster - (5)+6 = 11 (+4 from Heroic Effort) =15 HIT.
    Cookie is at -8 and dying.
    Move - Crawl to K5.
    Minor - Wish I'd created a character that had minor actions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Minor - Wish I'd created a character that had minor actions."

      Buddy, it's a blessing and a curse. I think Ernie's got like five of them.

      Delete
  14. RED SKULL BEGINS HIS TURN AND IS PLACED UNDER THE DIVINE SANCTION OF OSCAR THE GROUCH.

    ReplyDelete
  15. "Du denkst, dass du mit mir kämpfen kannst? Es ist voll lächerlich! Du bist nur ein Tagelöhner und ich bin die Größe! Schmeck meinen Schwert, grüne Mann!"

    *Translations provided Herr Doktor Arnim Zola: "You think that you can fight with me? It is completely absurd!! You are but a peon and I am greatness! Taste my sword, green man!"

    And with a flash of green fire, Red Skull's blade comes down upon the head of Oskar the Grouchy One only to miss. Confused by the apparent failure of the Babylonian blade's enchantment, Skull strains and swings the blade again into the face of the trash-dweller only to miss again.

    "Fluch meinen Schwert! Und fluch dich auch!"

    *Translations provided by Herr Doktor Arnim Zola: "Curse my blade! And curse you too!"

    [TECH]
    *Standard: Greenflame Blade vs Oscar, +7 vs AC, MISS (11 vs AC 20)
    *Action Point: Greenflame Blade vs Oscar, +7 vs AC, MISS (13 vs AC 20)

    *Move: Shift to L16

    *Minor: Curse my lack of Minor actions

    *Free: Curse my blade and Oscar and my luck
    *Free (Pity): Cry

    ReplyDelete
  16. We'll make this short:

    Minor: Sustain Cyclone
    Move: Shift to L17
    Standard: Gates of Battle on Skull: +6 vs. reflex. 2d10 + 5 + 1d8 (furious assault) + 6 (flurry) + 1d10 (Skull is at full HP)
    Free: Hold crayon aloft with animal war cry. Or giggling. Whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  17. THE FIST OF ELMO PUNCHES SOLIDLY INTO RED SKULL'S FACE. HIS JAW SHATTER, BLOOD AND TEETH SPIT ACROSS THE WOODEN PLANKS.

    [TECH]
    OtGB: (10)+6 vs. Reflex 14; hit!
    for (4)+(5)+5 +(2) +(5) = 21 damage!
    Red Skull dropped to exactly 0 hp!

    ReplyDelete
  18. !!! THUS ENDS ANOTHERE EXCITING ROUND OF FOURTHCORE TEAM DEATHMATCH !!!

    The battle continues in Round 05, inspired by the great war song of the Assyrians:

    http://www.fourthcoreteamdeathmatch.com/2013/01/play-by-post-match-17-round-05.html

    ReplyDelete