FTDM 12 - Army of Darkness - Round 4

The Deadites are taking over the field. Something may need to be done or else they will control the entire board.

Comic Book Guy self-gibs and respawns at location 4. He ignores the Deadites to attack the corporations which leads to  chaos and the closing of a K-Mart
Lowe's now takes his turn, blasting the geeks with lights.
Scott Pilgrim self-gibs and respawns location 4 and wrecks the Home Depot.
Wil Wheaton respawns in location 4 and whiffs his attack on Lowe's.
K-Mart respawns in the middle of a field of Deadites at location 3 and then proceeds to bore the DM by burning Deadites (when the DM doesn't have enough caffeine, he needs exciting turns to keep him awake).
Walmart tries for a sneaky move, but the dice make it ineffective.
Igor appears in location 4 without his groovy weapons, he nearly takes out the Walmart.
Home Depot reopens in a heavily Deadite speaking population... remember "Argh rahw rahw braaaaains." means "Welcome to Home Depot."


  1. OOC: I think this is missing a post-title/link on the main page.

    Never before has the Jeff Albertson had such a look of focus and determination on his face, or at least not since he stood in line to see Nichelle Nichols at his first Star Trek convention.


    Minor: Majestic Word on Scott Pilgrim, (no Will of the Living)

    Move: to I10

    Standard: Nimbus of Holy Shielding (HD and K-Mart)
    Burst 1
    +7 vs Will (+1 vs bloodied creatures)
    Hit: d8+4 radiant damage.
    Effect: each ally within 2 gets +2 to defenses until EoE. (Scott and Wil).
    Malediction: K-Mart to G12

    AP: Astral Terror (all big box +20? deadites)
    +5 vs Will (+1 vs bloodied creatures)
    Hit: d6+4 psychic damage, and push 2: Lowe's to J7, Walmart to E5, Home Depot to E9 or F9, K-Mart to E14

    For all above, Use MoTL when I miss within 6 (but not against deadites). Order of Importance: Home Depot, K-Mart, Lowe's, Walmart

    1. *Healing word, not Majestic (too many different characters...) surge +d6 +4.

  2. Scott jumps back up with 6+(4)+6=14 hp.

    CBG then uses Nimubs; attacks
    Home Depot: (5)+7=12 vs. 12 hit... but K-Mart uses Virtue of Prescience to give +3 to the defense so 12 vs. 15 miss... but CBG uses MoTL to gain 1 to his roll so a final of 13 vs. 15... a miss in the end.
    K-Mart: (10)+7=17 vs. 15 hit.
    Damage (5)+4=9 so K-Mart is at 0, K-mart's save (9) so takes an additional 5 and is in G12. Scott and Wil power up their defenses, and power up music plays in the background... or is that just a game of Smash Brothers starting in the Android's Dungeon ("Worst cross-over joke ever!").

    And for the terror:
    Home Depot: (12)+5=17 vs. 12 hit
    K-Mart: (11)+5=16 vs. 15-5=10 hit
    Lowe's: (1)+5=6 vs. 15 Humiliation!
    Walmart: (7)+5=12 vs. 12 hit
    And the 13 rolls vs. deadites (who won't take any damage anyway): 5, 3, 4, 18, 16, 12, 16, 14, 18, 19, 11, 3, 3.
    Damage (1)+4=5 Home Depot is at 17, K-mart at -10, and Walmart at 18. The saves Home Depot (19), K-Mart (4) and (11), Walmart (1) and (4) so that means Home Depot is prone in H9, K-mart is down to -15 for the gib, and Walmart is at 8, bloody and in space E5.

    It is now Lowe's turn.

    1. Oh and someone needs to place a deadite of humiliation next to CBG.

    2. Oops, K-mart's a Deva with dr 5 to necrotic so is merely at -5 and prone in F13. No gib.

  3. "Vandals, all of you! Security! We need more security!" A single officer appears, and Lowes leaves the skeleton crew ignored. (hehe)

    The company instead invests in more expensive lighting, shining spotlights around right in customer's faces and even setting off fireworks to get the attention of those further away.

    Deadite in J10

    Move: Shift to J9

    Minor: Will of the Living
    Destroy the Deadite and 5 radiant damage to CBG, Wil, and Scott

    Standard: Hand of Radiance on Scott, Igor, and the Deadite on Walmart
    +6 vs Reflex
    1d4+7 radiant damage

    Action Point: Hand of Radiance on Scott and Igor. If the Deadite didn't get hit, target it again. If it was hit, CBG instead
    +6 vs Reflex
    1d4+7 radiant damage

    No OA from anyone because of feat

  4. The Deadite of Humiliation appears and then dies :( Wil @ -9, and Scott @ 9. CBG takes no damage as he has radiant DR 5

    Hand of Radiance #1
    Scott: (6)+6=12 vs. 16 miss
    Igor: (12)+6=18 vs. 17 hit. Damage (2)+7=9 leaving Igor @ 5... and 4 hp fall out of Igor putting Lowe's up at 27.
    Deadite: (17)+6-2(soft cover)=21 vs. 6 hit. Damage (3)+7=10. We have a crispy critter.

    Hand of Radiance #2
    Scott: (19)+6=25 vs. 16 hit. Damage (4)+7=11 leaving Scott at -2 hp
    Igor: (19)+6=25 vs. 17 hit. Damage (3)+7=10 leaving Igor at -5 and taking Lowe's to full @ 28 hp.
    CBG: (12)+6=18 vs. 11 hit. Damage (2)+7-5=4 leaving CBG at 25.

    Lowe's is on a killing spree.

    Scott Pilgrim self-gibs and respawns at 4

    1. Map update tomorrow morning. Sleepy now.

    2. Correction 27-4=23 which is what CBG is at.

  5. Scott is not happy. All he wants to do is hang out, play in a band, be Canadian, and make out with his girlfriend. But nooooOOOOOOoooooooo.... these American department stores insist on killing him.

    Now it's time for:


    Minor: Shroud of Shadow. 5 THP, concealment
    Move: To G10 (in a way that doesn't provoke)
    Standard: Vengeance Strike +8 vs. AC (includes +2 from CA)
    Damage: 1d10+4 + 4 (Dark Menace) + 8 Vengeance Strike) + 6 Dread Smite + 4 Spirit of Vice (I take 4 HP damage) + 5 ongoing. So...1d10+26 damage.

  6. Scott moves to the Home Depot and then unleashes all hell on it.
    Attack: (17)+6+2=25 vs. 17 hit. Damage: (8)+4+4+8+6+4=34 hp leaving the Home Depot a pile of rubble at -17 hp (gibbed)... so no ongoing damage, I guess.

    Anyway, as Scott celibates his victory over corporate America, Wil respawns at location 4 (very popular this round.

  7. Scott celebrates with hip thrusts.

  8. Wil Wheaton appears in a shimmering beam of blue light in his grey sweater and jumpsuit. "Aw, man. I hate taking the transporters! Captain Picard never lets me on the bridge. Oh! Primitive lifeforms, time to introduce them to the future."

    Wil skips over to Lowe's and tries to put a smack down on its primitive mechanics, deals or not!


    minor action: Bladesong for +2 power bonus to all defenses, +2 to attack rolls, and +5 to defenses until end of my next turn.

    move action: J11, I11, H10, H9, I8

    standard action: Melee Basic Attack +10 vs. AC, 1d8+12 damage and Unseen Hand on Walmart for 3 force damage and slide him into square F4.

  9. Oh no, Wil's reverted to his Westley Crusher days...

    Attack... (1)+10=11 the dice gods hate you.

    We need a Deadite of Humiliation and then K-Mart respawns at location 3.

    1. "well that dies going in the #$*%-off bin."

      he then proceeds to throw the die into the audience.

      "sir, I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

    2. ... did you just toss that die to BFlat!?

  10. "BIG Kmart shoppers, if you will turn your attention to the Home and Garden section, we're having a Blue Light Special on Deadite suppressants! Please watch the product demonstration, and shoppers, do take care not to get in the spray. It can sting a bit."

    Deadite spawns in H-9.
    Move: walk to F-9 (taking and resisting 5 necro each square)
    Minor: Will of the Living (5 radiant to Scott, clear Deadites in E-8 through G-10)
    Standard (as Minor): Majestic Word on Walmart (spends surge, heals 9 HP, WotL clears Deadites in E-4 through F-6, slide to F-6)

  11. A bit of an anti-climatic turn... Deadites die, Scott is now at 21 hp, and Walmart is at 17 hp in F6. We laugh, we cry, we all take a collective yawn.

    Walmart, it is your turn... please make sure the DM is entertained.

    1. "Also, we're having a special on volleyball equipment! Whether at the beach, in the gym, or in a demon dimension of pain, don't forget to bump, set, and SPIKE!!"

  12. Attention all Duneon Masters, superior beings, and fanboy deadite shoppers: We'll ve reopening the electronic department to reopen at midnight for a massive "why go back to school when you can game your life away and work here for minimum wage and correct old-ladies who are buying the wrong HDMI cable...like they even know what that is" Sale! All Microsoft devices are 25% off, plus, we'll throw in a piece of fatty KFC original recipe human spleen or liver. Hurry, offer is limited.

    Move to H11 moving around Scott...yes, I will take the OA. AC is 19 vs OAs as I am an artful dodger of all things sharp...like swords and taxes.

    Attack CBG with opening move, +10 vs AC, 2d6+5+2d6 sneak attack damage. Gain +4 to AC and reflex. Will use WofL against Scott and CBG as a minor if CBG is left standing.

  13. Well let's see if Walmart get's the rocker's axe. Attack (10)+6=16 vs. 19 miss.

    Walmart attacks Comic Book Guy (1)+10=11 vs. 17 Humiliation! Forget the freezer, the dice are going in the oven... and then I'll set it to clean.

    Okay while a Deadite of Humiliation should appear, Walmart fries it with Will of the Living. All adjacent Deadites get fried with one point of Radiant damage. Scott is now at 20 hit points. Comic Book Guy explains the futility of attacking a Deva with 1 point of Radiant damage.

    Igor drops the chainsaw and shotgun before respawning at location 4.

  14. It would seem that the discount warehouses and dork soldiers have formed something of a conga line.

    "In our Toys and Parties section, check out our phenomenal pricing on Flank Chains!"

  15. OOC: Sorry for the delay, I lost track of it somehow.

    Igor puffs up his chest, beats on it furiously, and "HUZZAH!"s over to the open space in an ever-impending sea of deadly creatures, to stick a glorious piercing strike into a Walmart Clerk's bag of beef jerk with a smirk so bezerk - at this point he's bloody tired of corporate puns and is going on a rampage to kill anyone, even customers if need be. "THERE MUST BE VENGEANCE!"

    Move to I12
    Piercing Strike vs. Walmart +8 (+2 from CA) vs Reflex (for a total of +10) on hit, 1d8+5 damage +2d6 sneak attack damage.

  16. For vengeance against the bad corporate puns; it's a morally bankrupt profession. Attack: (15)+10=25 vs. 21 hit. (4)+5+(1)+(5)=15. Walmart is now at 2 hp and bloody.

    Home Depot reopens at location 2

    And my 1 year old would like to say (I didn't let him type long once I caught him):

    xd X Z

  17. "God, you try to stock the store, and they just stand there slack-jawed like a bunch of zombies. Looks like it's those two in the back that started it..."

    Minor: WotL to make some room.
    Move: To J9, taking the hit from 2 deadites.
    Standard: Crane's Wings vs. Wil, pushing him into deadites at I7 (+5 vs Fort, 1d10 + 5 + 1d8 ftom furious assault), then Flurry on CBG.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. Deadites are difficult terrain (cost two to move into the square). You can't get to I9.

    3. Crapola...

      OK, suggestion from James sounds good:

      Move: Crane's Wings jump to H-7. (Need a 2, according to the dude with the compendium).
      Minor: WotL to clear deadites and hit Wil.
      Standard: Crane's Wings attack vs. Wil including Flurry and Ferocious Assault, and flanking. Push will to J7 since he can't go into Lowe's space.

  18. Okay, I was hoping I wouldn't have to rule on this. The Deadites have height, so it's not a simple long jump, but they aren't a solid wall like what they describe in the compendium. Here's how I'm going to rule on jumping over Deadites:

    The horizontal distance that can be jumped is standard (# of squares jumped is roll/10 or roll/5 with running start). The dungeoneer must clear 6 feet in order to jump over the deadites(need the athletics roll to be 40 or 20 w/ running start); if they don't make it, they will fall prone when they land due to being tripped up by Deadites.

    So Home Depot's jump over the Deadites is a running start due to Crane's Wings; (19)+8+5(Crane's Wing)=32, which clears 8 ft and could have jumped up to 6 squares... well that's what you get for having a propane powered explosion behind you.

    Landing in H7 costs Home Depot 5 hp so he's now at 17. Will of the Living clears out the dead and Wil takes 1 damage (@21). Now for the attack: (7)+5+2(CA)=14 vs. 14 hit. Damage is (9)+5+6(flurry)+(2)(FA) = 22 knocking Wil down to -1 hp.

    Thus ends another exiting round... Deadites to expand their reach in Round 5 of the Army of Darkness (coming soon to a FTDM blog near you).

    1. Sorry about that...but it looked awesome in m head, so I suppose I at least entertained the DM.

    2. Oh no problem, but I was so concerned on the rules, I forgot the push. Wil gets a (4) on the save so take's another 5 damage (@ -6) and in space J7.

  19. Round 5 posted here: