FTDM12 - Army of Darkness - Round 5

The Deadites have now taken over all 4 spawn points and the dungeoneers huddle in terror in the center (not from the Deadites, but from the DM's EVIL dice). The Army of Dorkness still trails, but is looking to get back into the game.

Comic Book Guy starts flanked between Lowe's and Walmart, he attacks and shifts.
Lowe's now has a chance to go, and he grabs a Kevlar apron.
Scott now goes and axes the Walmart.
Wil respawns in location 2, takes down the Home Depot and knocks down the K-Mart.
K-Mart's turn he stands, heals Home Depot then proceeds to have a big missing people fest.
Walmart reopens at location 4 and cuts Comic Book Guy's health insurance leaving him dying.
Igor's turn now, he jumps on the Oldsmobile and chucks a knife at the Walmart.
Home Depot now ends the round.


  1. OOC: Not much time for fluff at the moment.


    Hand of Radiance vs Lowe's, Walmart, and Home Depot
    +5 vs Reflex
    Hit: d4+4 radiant damage.
    Use Maledictor's Doom to push 1 hit target into deadites, in the following order of importance:
    Lowe's: to J8
    Home Depot: to H6
    Walmart: G13.

    If I hit both Walmart and Lowe's, move to H13 and grab the chainsaw.

  2. Maledictor's Doom does not appear on your character sheet, would you like to rethink your move?

    1. Sorry, I meant manifestation of malediction but that doesn't apply to at-will powers.

      Instead, if Walmart goes down, shift to H10.

    2. *Actually, just shift to H10 after the attack, regardless of the outcome.

  3. Okay then:
    Lowe's (9)+5=14 vs. 13 hit. Damage (3)+4=7. Lowe's @ 21
    Home Depot (12)+5=17 vs. 16 hit. Damage (2)+4=6. Home Depot @ 11 and bloody
    Walmart (4)+5=9 vs. 21 miss.

    Comic Book Guy shifts and then it's Lowe's turn.

  4. One more catastrophic pyrotechnic display goes off by accident, and Lowes scrambles away before anyone can blame it on them, quickly donning the uniform of another company to remain incognito.


    Standard: Hand of Radiance on Scott, Igor, and Deadite at J8
    +6 vs Reflex
    1d4+7 radiant damage

    Move to L7

    Minor: Equip the Kevlar

  5. Attack:
    Scott: (8)+6-2(partial concealment)=12 vs. 16 miss.
    Igor: (8)+6=14 vs. 17 miss.
    Deadite: (17)+6=23 vs. 6 hit. The Deadite pops.

    Lowes grabs the Kevlar, he gains +2 to defenses and 10 DR to thunder and force.

    Scott's turn now.

  6. Scott glances up at the scoreboard floating above everyone's head. "Fun fact: Most people think that we Canadians are harmless. But Canada is a crucible. The Moose, the Hockey, the Mounties. They all prepare us to be vicious killing machines. The Maple Syrup is just a bonus."

    With that, Scott channels his inner maple leaf, before decapitating Walmart, and letting waves of Celine Dion melodies wash over KMart & Home Depot

    Minor: Will of the Living (trained in Religion)
    5 radiant damage to CBG, Walmart, & Kmart (& the deadites)
    Standard: Coup De Grace Walmart
    Minor:Dragon Breath vs. KMart & Home Depot.
    Attack: +6 vs. Reflex Hit: 1d6 fire & radiant damage

  7. And the worst part of the Canadian nefarious training is they are forced to listen to the banshee Dion until they actually think she's a good singer.

    At any rate, Will of the Living takes down Walmart and the Deadites, but CBG and Kmart are Devas and ignore the damage. Then the Coup De Grace causes bankruptcy for Walmart. Then the dragon's breath
    K-Mart: (5)+6=11 vs. 13 miss
    Home Depot: (14)+6=20 vs. 16 hit for (4) damage leaving the Home Depot at 7 hp.

    Wil Wheaton respawns at the deadite infested location 2.

    Map will be updated later this afternoon (or evening for those on EST).

  8. The dreaded Wheaton reforms surrounded by scrambling fans. "I don't think so, nerds." He draws a pen he uses for signatures and patently ignores every nerd around him. He clicks a button on his watch and teleports up next to the family favorite, Home Depot. "That's right, you got Evil Wil Wheaton, baby." He then tries to stab his pen into Home Depot's chest. "Game over, Moon Pie."


    minor action: Bladesong for +2 to all defenses and attack rolls +5 to damage rolls until end of next turn.

    move action: Fey Step to G7

    standard action: Melee Basic Attack at a +10 vs. AC, on hit do 1d8 + 12 damage and use Unseen Hand on K-mart to deal 3 force damage and slide to F10 then to E10 into Deadite.

  9. Evil Wil Wheaton tricks the Home Depot, let's see if the attack works: (10)+10=20 vs. 17 hit. Damage (3)+12=15 which drops the Home Depot to -8. K-Mart then takes 3 damage leaving him at 23 and the save is (12). K-Mart will start his turn prone in F10.

    Map to update in the morning.

  10. Today was wild and crazy at work. So. No fluff for you. All sold out of fluff.

    Move: stand.
    Minor: Majestic Word on Home Depot (surge, heals 9 HP, WotL does 1 rad damage to G-6 through I-8 including the Real Wil, slide to I-8 next to the fake Wil)
    Standard: Staggering Note against CBG - a lot happens here. First, an OA from Scott, I assume?
       Attack: +6 vs Will 15, -2 for Scott's cover (using MoaTL if within 4)
       Hit: 4 thunder damage, push to J-8. Home Depot takes an MBA.
    HD's MBA
       Attack: +6 vs AC, -2 for prone
       Hit: 1d8 + 3 damage

  11. Okay, okay, I forgot to delete the old Wil oopsy.

    K-Mart gets back on its feet, infuses Home Depot with cash and health and wounding the real Wil (who's now at 21 hp).

    Staggering Note starts with Scott taking an axe to K-Mart: (3)+6=9 vs. 17 miss.
    Then attack on CBG: (7)+6-2(cover)+(3; MoaTL)=14 vs. 15 miss.

    Walmart reopens at location 4.

  12. A statement from the CEO of Walmart:

    "I would like to thank all the mid level regional managers and their teams for their enthusiasm and focus at our corporate retreat this past week held on the grounds of our secret corporate treasury located in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. I would also like to inform all that those responsible for hiring the british prostitutes have been sacked. In completely unrelated news, please see the attached memo highlighting changes to the corporate healthcare policy."

    Now, get out there and SLASH THOSE PRICES!

    Move to i10, next to CBG.
    Minor action to blade storm, targeting CBG, Scott, igor, Kmart, and some deadites: +7 vs reflex, 1d8+5 and 5 ongoing on a hit.
    Std action to use opening move vs CBG. +8 vs AC, 2d6+damage and I have the +4 to AC and reflex.
    Free action: wish I could flank from two sq away...

  13. Limiting health care due to undead attacks is just plain wrong with the Deadites all over.

    The price slashing attack (note, it's Home Depot that's hit not K-Mart).
    CBG: (14)+7=21 vs. 11 hit
    Scott: (8)+7=15 vs. 16 miss
    Igor: (4)+7=11 vs. 17 miss
    Home Depot: (3)+7=10 vs. 16 miss
    3 Deadites (auto hit, but I like rolling dice): 4, 19, and 1 hit all, but another Deadite of Humiliation pops up after the attack.
    CBG and the Deadites take (5)+5 damage, except the Deadites resist 1/2 of that so take nothing. CBG is at 13 hp.

    Now the Opening Move, Attack (8)+8=16 vs. 16 hit for (6)+(4)+5=15 damage CBG is at -2.

    Your request for flanking has been take up by the board. Please expect a decision in 2-4 weeks.

    Igor can now go. I will update the map later today.

  14. OOC: Is the deadite in I11 from Walmart's Humiliation? If so, wouldn't Red Team get to choose its location? (As in, not I11 because it's in my way!)

    1. The deadite is still there from before Walmart's turn. We still need a Deadite of Humiliation.

    2. Deadite in J9 between Walmart & Home Depot! [/executive decision for the team]

    3. Exactly where I was going to suggest :)

  15. OOC: Actually, no matter, I have a better idea!

    Igor says, "These dead guys STINK! I need some clean air!" He buys an air purifier from Walmart for an everyday low price. While plugging it in, it goes KAPUT and frizzle-frazzles him. This enrages him so he runs out on top of his Oldsmobile in anger and chucks the kitchen knife (also bought from Walmart) into the air in defiance. "CURSE YOU CORPORATE SLIME!"

    Move on top of Oldsmobile.
    Standard to chuck dagger at Walmart. +9 vs AC (+2 from CA for a total of +11) for 1d4+5 damage + 2d6 sneak attack damage.
    Also, he will use Second Chance on any attack made against him next round.

  16. I'm ruling no cover as Igor is on higher ground and can throw over the Deadite. Igor gets (19)+9+2(CA)=30 vs. 21, um, I think that's a hit. for (4)+5+(4)+(3)=16 damage. Walmart is now bloody at 7 hp.

    Home Depot, take your turn.

    1. "No, sir, you may not return a garbage disposal after it has been 'lightly used'. No, sir, I'm afraid I *do* still see the cat hair stuck to it. Please leave my store. Security?"

      Move to H10
      Standard: Slumbering Hurt on Scott - +5 vs Fort, 2d8+6 + 1d8 (Flurry). No Ferocious Assault; I didn't die.

  17. Okay, what I posted a few minutes ago is invalid and the entire turn will be done over. The Home Depot is prone, and so can't make the move. Bryan please think of something else.

    1. OK.

      Fairly the same as above, but use my Action Point to stand up from prone first.

      Action point: stand up
      Move to H10
      Standard: Slumbering Hurt on Scott - +5 vs Fort, 2d8+6 + 1d8 (Flurry). No Ferocious Assault; I didn't die.

  18. Moving to the same square the dying Comic Book Guy is... well, Scott's going to have something to say about that before you get there (I assume movement avoids the Deadite).

    Scott's OA: attack (13)+6=19 vs. 17 hit! Damage (1)+4=5 leaving the Home Depot barely fiscally solvent at 4 hp.

    Home Depot's attack on Scott (2)+5=7 vs. 17 miss... Roll a 2 drink the hooch... Hey aren't there rules against this on the job?

    And thus ends the round... Deadites will advance and CBG will respawn at location 2 when we receive the final installment of FTDM - Army of Darkness ROUND 6.

  19. New round posted here: