FTDM 12 - Army of Darkness - Round 2

As the corporations rain down hurt on the nerds, an army of Deadites approaches the fight. From the edges of perception you hear things like “I will eat your soul!”, and “Dead before dawn! Dead before dawn!”. There are a few other voices saying things like “Look a near mint copy of the Necronomicon! I need!”, “I’m building a coffin, what wood stand-up best to worn? Oh, I didn’t mean that, you’re sick!”, and “Only $3.99! I’m so getting ‘Revenge of the Nerds’!”. (Deadites like explanation points.)

After a long argument with Death, Comic Book Guy is given a second chance and is dropped off at (drum roll please)… Location 2 (bad dice, be more random). He then scatters the stores to the 2 winds.
Lowe's is up to making more profits and pushing geeks into the Deadites.
Scott Pilgrim reappears at location 4 and takes an axe to the Home Depot and a light to the Deadites. Despite having the Deadites off of him, Wil Wheaton succumbs to his wounds and reappears in location 3 and makes may attacks almost bankrupting Home Depot and K-Mart.
K-Mart attack's Scott and brings Home Depot back from the brink.
Walmart now carries Necronomicons and uses it to attack Scott Pilgrim.
Igor has his soul eaten, and then reappears at location 3. Igor grabs the Boomstick(TM) and goes postal on Walmart and Home Depot. Walmart barely hangs on and Home Depot goes down.
Home Depot respawns at location 2.


  1. Comic Book Guy reappears with a heavy thud. "Move over big box. The Android's Dungeon was here first." Turning to the deadite in front of him he says, "Hmm... if I get your autograph then kill you, it will be worth even more. Can you make one out to me and three out to my friend of the same name?"


    Minor: Healing Word on Wil Wheaton
    Surge +d6+4, and he activates Will of the Living for 5 radiant, burst 1

    Move: Shift to K5

    Standard: Astral Terror
    Burst 3, enemies
    +5 vs Will
    Hit: d6+4 psychic damage, and push 2
    If hit, push Walmart to H3, Home Depot to H7, Lowe's to G5, K-Mart to H9

    I may action point depending on the result.

  2. Wil regains 5+(5)+4=14 hp bringing him back up to 19 hp. Wil of the Living activates Will of the Living for 1 point of damage (Wil's activating the power and doesn't have religion). Deadites burn, and the 2 big box store take 1 point of damage leaving both at 22 hp (funny that).

    After that Comic Book Guy moves a little. He then proceeds to point out all of the inconsistencies with the comic book for "The Dark Knight Rises" and "The Avengers". Attack: Lowe's (11)+4=15 vs. 12; K-Mart (1)+4=5 vs. 15; Walmart (20)+4=24 vs. 12; Home Depot (4)+4 = 8 vs. 12.
    Humiliation; someone on the Corporate Raiders tell me where the Deadite goes (K4, L4, L5, or J6).
    Groovy! Comic Book Guy is immune to Deadite powers (until he dies again).
    Lowe's takes (3)+4=7 damage and is now at 15.
    Walmart takes max damage of 10 and is not at 12 hp and bloodied. Both move (will update map as soon as I get the Deadite location and if you spend an action point).

    Congrats on getting a Humiliation and Groovy! on the same attack.

    1. I'll decline the action point, but will us MoTL on the roll against Home Depot if I may.

    2. In that case, you now have 8+(6) = 14 vs. 12 so Home Depot is hit and takes 7 damage (one roll for damage) and is now at 15 hp as well.
      Walmart is at H3, Home Depot is at H7 and Lowe's is at G5.

      Still waiting on the Deadite placement

    3. New shipment! Whole seasons of "Bones" in Aisle J-6!

      Thank you, Home Depot, for providing our forklifts. Here's a corporate kickback!

      Immediate Interrupt: Virtue of Prescience on Home Depot - his Will defense is increased by 3 until the end of CBG's turn.

    4. Well Home Depot is hit and then not hit quite a lot today. I'll have a map update soon.

  3. It has been brought to my attention that I confused Lowe's for Home Depot (you can see how I could do that). I have the wrong defenses for Lowe's posted. It should be AC:19, Fort: 13, Ref: 13, and Will:15 I will have this updated on the next map update.

  4. Lowe's it's now your turn. You take 5 points of ongoing damage, so are at 10 hp and you are bloodied.

  5. "Lousy customers, so rude! Let's see if you like it when your cars get 'accidentally' dinged while carts are being returned!" With a swing of her staff, she sends rows of carts at the nerds, sending them all sprawling away into the rest of the crowd. After taking a moment to enjoy some money from K-Mart, she launder...passes it along to Walmart.

    Standard: Thunder of Judgment on Wil, Igor, and CBG (No OA for Wil due to feat)
    +6 vs Fortitude
    1d6+4(for multiple targets)+3(Manifestation of Wrath) thunder damage
    On hits, push Wil I3 -> J2, Igor K3 -> L2 -> M1, CBG L5->M5->N5

    Minor1: Second Wind w/ Dwarven Resilience
    Heal 7 HP and +2 Defenses until start of my next turn

    Minor2: Healing Word on Walmart
    HS+1d6 and +2 Attack until end of my next turn

    Free: Pray the saving throws go the way I want them to

  6. Shopping carts go a flying through the field of battle. Attack: Wil (18)+6=24 vs.12; Igor (20)+6=26 vs. 11 Groovy!; Comic Book Guy (10)+6=16 vs. 14. Hits all around. Wil and Comic Book Guy take (4)+4+3=11 damage, while Igor takes 13 leaving Wil at 8 (bloody), Igor at 11 (bloody), and Comic Book Guy at 14. And now for the pushes and saves: Wil (9) fail... takes 5 points necrotic and in Deadite space (at 3 hp); Igor (5) fail... takes 5 points necrotic and in Deadite space (at 8 hp); Comic Book Guy doesn't get a save as he's Groovy! and just ignores the Deadites.

    Lowe's is now at 17 hp (no longer bloody) and has defense bonuses. (Lowe's Walmart do you want to Will of the Living?)

    Walmart gains 5+(4)=9 hp and he's at 21 no longer bloody.

    Lowe's save (10) success, no longer taking ongoing damage.

    Scott Pilgrim regains 3-dimensionality at location 4.

    1. Dazed too? Not that it should matter much at this point.

    2. Yup, completely forgot. Everyone hit is now dazed until the end of my next turn.

  7. Scott appears back in the game, and looks around at his friends. "Ugh. FTDM is haaaarrrdd...."

    With a sigh, he moves to the middle of the map before running towards the home depot as fast as he can, hitting it so hard that radiant sparks fly out over his allies, enemies, and deadites.

    Move: To F8
    Minor: Shroud of Shadow. Partial Concealment til EoNT & 5 THP
    Standard: Charge to I5 (will Provoke from Lowes) Attacking Home Depot +7 vs. AC, 1d10+4+6 (dread smite) + 4 (Spirit of Vice, I take 4 damage) + 5 ongoing cold/necrotic
    Miss: 6 damage
    Action Point: Dragon Breath on H,I,J/2,3,4 vs. Walmart, Deadites & Wil Wheaton
    +6 vs. Reflex, 1d6 radiant damage

  8. Yes to Angille, everyone hit is dazed by the last attack.

    Scott Pilgrim moves, activates his Shroud, and charges the Home Depot, but Lowe's attacks Scott for choosing the competition; (1)+3+1(LAoM)-2(concealment)=3 vs. 20; humiliation! Scott place a Deadite (any space other than H6 where you would have been).

    Scott continues his charge on the other home improvement store. Attack (18)+6+1=25 vs. 17. Hit! (1)+4+6+4=15 hp damage and 5 ongoing. Home Depot is at 7 hp.

    The Dragon's Breath on everyone else:
    Walmart (11)+6=17 vs. 21 miss,
    Wil (10)+6=16 vs. 17 miss,
    Deadite in J3 (2)+6=8 vs. 6 hit
    Deadite in I2 (4)+6=10 vs. 6 hit
    Deadite in J2 (9)+6=15 vs. 6 hit
    The Deadites take (3) radiant damage and burn to cinder ("Oh what a world, what a world").

    Despite all the effort, Wil Wheaton still takes 5 ongoing damage and is at -2. He self-gibs and appears in location 3.

    1. Oh, and Scott is at 23 hp with no temporary hp left.

    2. Deadite in g4 between the two, I should still have 1 thp

    3. Right you should have 1 thp left. I will update that and the new Deadite at the next map update (which should be soon as raisedead posting seemed to have stopped me from posting my comment a moment ago).

  9. Wil Wheaton spawns in his full eladrin head gear and a glittery d20 in his hand. He cocks his head to the side, while speaking to the sky...

    "Dungeon master, I believe you have mispronounced my name yet again. My name is AEOFEL!"

    With the swiftness of an elf, Wil...um........Aeofel goes scampering towards the forge. Drawing forth a blade glowing with shimmering light of Melora, he draws an eldritch symbol in the air.

    "eyahtol, meyoheeel!" With the magic of his elvish words, bolts of energy come bursting from his blade still empowered with the strength of star wars fandom from his last attempt and Al fires at the fiendish dire corporations!

    "I didn't escape from the anus of demon statue just to let the corporations get me down, eh?" Wil offers a sly wink to the audience, shattering the 4th wall to great effect.


    move action: move to C9

    minor action: take the Stainless Steel upgrade

    standard action: Skewering Spikes targetting Lowe's, K-mart, and Home Depot. +9 (+5 normally, +2 for stainless steel, +2 from Bladesong last turn) vs. Reflex, on a hit: 1d9+14 (+7 normally, +5 for bladesong, +2 for stainless steel).

    Depending on the results of who I hit and/or drop to 0, I would like to use my action point to charge.

  10. And I will continue to mispronounce your name because three vowels in a row just doesn't work for me.

    Wil grab's the stainless steel and his sword lights up and arcs, uh... stainless steel at his foes. Attacks:
    Lowe's (1)+9=10 vs. 15 humiliation (okay that's it, this die is retiring after this turn!)
    K-mart (4)+9=13 vs. 13 hit!
    Home Depot (16)+9=25 vs. 16 hit
    As my d9 seems to be missing I'll just roll a d8 for damage. (4)+14=18. K-mart is now at 8 hp, Home Depot is at -11 which is enough to gib him.

    I await the corporate raider's placement of yet another Deadite and Wil's action point.

    1. It's was pointed out to me that Bladesong would have required a minor to re-activate (effect ends when you die). So that means K-mart was missed and Home Depot is at -6 and not gibbed.

      Still need action point and Deadite placement.

    2. D-10 is a golden opportunity for the big box stores. "Now pick up a shovel and start digging!"

  11. In that case, I'd like to not grab the stainless steel upgrade and instead use my minor action to activate bladesong, which would bring Home Depot to -9hp. I would then like to use my action point to charge K-mart (silly credit cards!!!) at square H9.

    Melee basic attack: +11 vs. AC, 1d8 + 12 damage on a hit and trigger Unseen Hand against Walmart for 3 force damage and slide Walmart into the deadite at square I9.

  12. Right then the stainless steal stays where is is and the blade hums a happy tune instead.

    Charge against K-Mart: (7)+11=18 vs. 17 hit. Damage (8)+12+3=23 ghetto crit! K-Mart is at 3 hp and goes flying. Save (18), K-Mart managed to throw itself on the ground before getting in the Deadite's square.

    K-Mart, you start your turn on the floor barely holding on the life (stocks way down).

  13. The muzak system in this particular Kmart seems to be going a little haywire. Power failures, looters, and price scanners are all wreaking havoc!

    The discount superstore shakily restores its foundation, before firing every speaker in the electronics dept. at Scott Pilgrim! At which point, even more corporate profiteering exchanges hands between Kmart and Home Depot.

    Move: Stand up.
    Standard: Disorienting Ditty against Scott Pilgrim
       Attack: +4 (-2 concealment) vs Will 15
       Hit: 1d8 + 4 psychic damage. If Scott doesn't enter square J-6 during his next turn, he takes 4 psychic damage.
    Minor: Majestic Word on Home Depot - spends surge and gains 9 HP. Also...
       If DD hit: slide Home Depot to J-4, *then* HD activates WotL
       If DD missed: HD activates WotL, *then* slides to K-5.
    Home Depot's Free Action: Will of the Living - Scott (and possibly the Deadite) take 1 radiant damage. (wait, what? Religion's a monk class skill, isn't it? Home Depot, we'll discuss this later)

  14. K-Mart attack's Scott; (18)+4-2=20 vs. 13 hit. Damage (8)+4=12 hp leaving Scott at 15 hp and if Scott doesn't move to J6 he'll take another 4. Then the majestic word get's Home Depot to 9 hp (and bloodied) and Scott takes another point of damage down to 14.

    It is now Walmart's turn.

  15. "Attention Walmart Shoppers: Klaatu Barada Lower Prices!"

    Minor action to grab the Necronomicon;
    Move to D7 via G3-F4-E5-D6...I assume the deadites, as terrain, do not take OAs.

    Std action: Feast of the living against Scott Pilgrim; +6 vs Fort (no negative from partial concealment)...2d4+6 cold and necrotic damage plus he loses a HS.

  16. Ooh, Walmart's now carrying Necronomicons for the low, low prices of $7.99 + tax and soul.

    Walmart grabs the Necronomicon (which costs a healing surge) and moves (Deadites do not have OAs)

    Feast on the Living against Scott Pilgrim (area attack so no concealment). Attack (16)+6 vs. 15 hit. Damage (3)+(1)+6 = 10 damage Scott's down to 4hp and looses a healing surge. The Deadite thanks Walmart for the snack.

    Elsewhere, another Deadite thinks Igor makes a very good snack... Igor's soul goes well with ketchup. Igor respawns at location 3 (3 is the new 2).

  17. Igor points towards the boomstick and cries "IT MUST BE MINE!"
    He then skips onto the Oldsmobile, picks it up and goes a gunnin'. "THIS IS JUST LIKE WARHAMSTER!" he cries.

    Move to G13 on top of car
    Minor to pick up boomstick.
    Standard, fire slugshot at Walmart +10 vs AC (+8+2 for CA from standing on olds) on hit, 3d6+6 force damage and target knocked prone. If sneak attack applies b/c of CA, extra 2d6 damage.
    Action point, same slugshot except fire at Home Depot.
    (My range is 20 because I'm trained in Perception)

  18. Igor grabs the boomstick, despite a deadite saying, "Hey, I had dibs on that".

    Igor carefully aims at Walmart. Attack (10)+10=20 vs. 17 hit. As the boomstick is not a "rogue" weapon, no sneak attack. Damage: (5)+(4)+(5)+6 = 20. Walmart holds on with 1 hp left.

    Igor then turns the gun on the Home Depot. Attack (12)+10=22 vs. 17, hit. Damage: (6)+(5)+(1)+6 = 18. Home Depot is at -9 hp.

    The Home Depot cuts it's losses at this location and opens another store at location 2.

    1. OOC: Damn, 1 damage away from a killing spree!

    2. OOC: Dice, did you really think a boomstick could kill me? Those bullets were made in america! mwhahahaha!

    3. OOC: Americans +guns = match made in heaven

  19. "Damn taxes were too high in that location anyway...

    Luckily, we're just in time for the Labor Day Sale! Our bargains are sure to hit as many customers as possible!"

    Standard: Spinning Leopard Attack - Starting in K4, shift to J5 and attack Scott (+5 vs Reflex, 2d6 + 5 damage), shift to M5 and attack CBG (+5 vs Reflex, 2d6 + 5 + 1d8 furious assault), shift back to K5.

  20. Labor Day Sale at Home Depot... Sure to hit you like a ton of bricks.

    Attack on Scott: (18)+5=23 vs. 14 hit, damage (4)+(2)+5=11 leaving Scott at -7 hp. Attack on Comic Book Guy: (5)+5=10, almost, but it seems CBG can resist the low prices.

    Unless someone has a modification of some kind, round 3 will be active shortly.

    1. Okay, before the e-mails roll in CBG was dazed from Lowe's attack, thus granting CA, so Home Depot actually got a 12 vs. 1l so it's a hit. (3)+(2)+5+(8)=18 hp, leaving CBG at -4. Home Depot is on a killing spree and gains an action point.

  21. Round 3 is posted here: